Rikkai Addicts
by sugarkitt
Summary: Kirihara has anger-management problems? Marui needs to cut on sugar? Yagyuu is too gentlemanly? Jackal is too motherly? Yanagi has a compulsive disorder? Niou is too much of a trickster? Sanada has no personality? How will stupid Miss Latnem change this?
1. Addicts?

**Disclaimer: We do not own Prince of Tennis, nor any of the characters in it.**

**This account is shared by Noël and Chantal. So is this story and plot.

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Principal Os-Diputs beamed. "Please applaud for your new coach...Ms. Latnem!"

None of the regulars applauded. "But Sanada's our coach/buchou right now!" exclaimed Kirihara. "You can't just fire him!"

"He's a self proclaimed coach, Kirihara-kun," replied Principal Os-Diputs calmly. "Ms. Latnem here has coached several teams before and she is very experienced in psychology."

Ms. Latnem stepped out under the sunlight. She had long, straggly brown hair that framed her long oval face. Malicious charcoal black eyes gleamed. "Hello," she said, slurring her words. Knee-length black boots thudded against the pavement. "I'm Terreo Latnem or Ms. Latnem to you."

"Doesn't 'Terreo' mean terrifying in Latin?" asked Yanagi.

"SILENCE!" screamed Ms. Latnem who had whirled around to face him. "I wish to be a delightful coach, and talking back to me may allow me to change my idea. Anyways, I'm noticed that all of you are quite interesting psychological cases. You people are all _addicts_."

"We're not on drugs or alcohol and we don't smoke," Niou pointed out.

"SILENCE!" screamed Ms. Latnem again. "So I have decided...to let you guys get unhooked from your various addictions."

"What addictions?" asked Marui. "It's not like we're on anything, like Niou just said." He blew a bubble, yet Ms. Latnem popped it with her finger.

"YOU," she replied, staring Marui in the eye, "need to get unhooked from sugar. Sugar is bad for you, and especially bad for your brain. You, are an extreme addict, I have noticed."

Marui gasped. "Not sugar! I can't live without sugar! Sugar is my life! Sugar keeps me alive! If you take away my sugar, who will I live? NO!" He then took to bawling and punching the ground.

"Madame," remarked Yagyuu politely, "I seem to see where you are going. Sanada-kun needs to have a little more personality, Yanagi-kun needs to stop stalking people, Niou-kun needs to stop playing pranks, Marui-kun needs to stop consuming so much sugar, but then what do I have to do?"

Mrs. Latnem towered over him. "YOU, need to stop acting so gentlemanly. I HATE GENTLEMEN!" she screamed, her voice raising an octave and higher.

Yagyuu widened his eyes, though this act went unseen since his eyes were hidden behind his glasses. "I do not see what is wrong with being a gentleman, Madame."

"I am not going to talk to you anymore until you stop acting so gentlemanly," replied Ms. Latnem with a huff. She raised her nose up in the air and crossed her arms.

"Don't you diss Yagyuu-senpai," said Kirihara in an oh-no-you-didn't manner.

"I just did," replied Mrs. Latnem in a so-what-if-I-did fashion.

"You're going down!" shouted Kirihara in an I-am-going-to-slice-you-in-an-thousand-pieces-cook-you-in-a-stew-stab-your-body-a-thousand-times-and-curse-that-your-body-will-be-eaten-by-maggots-and-will-burn-in-Hell's-inferno way.

"You cannot do anything to me, little boy," answered Ms. Latnem a-matter-of-factly.

Kirihara's eyes immediately turned a scarlet red and he jumped on the new coach, bitch-slapping her and tearing her hair. She screamed. Sanada didn't even care, since Mrs. Latnem had insulted him and he wouldn't try to break them apart since it's not like he has any personality and even if he did, he wouldn't let anyone know, would he?

Principal Os-Diputs finally separated the two monsters after being scratched and kicked several times. "Sanada and Yukimura are the best buchous ever!" yelled Kirihara, whose eyes began to fade back to white. Sanada felt like bursting into tears and hugging Kirihara until he's out of breath but because he was a rock, and it's not like he had any personality anyways so he refrained from showing his inner self. GASP!

Ms. Latnem's gray dress was torn and her hair was all messed up. "This man is a devil!" she cried, waving her finger at Kirihara. "I will start with him first when I cure this bunch of monsters! Japan is such an idle and dangerous country, unlike old Britain, where I used to live!"

"You lived in England?" asked Yanagi.

Ms. Latnem adjusted her hair. "Yes, of course."

"According to my data," stated Yanagi, "there is a 69% chance you used to own an office back in England but moved to Japan because of financial difficulties. There is also an 86% chance that you are in your mid-thirties, which is quite old, by the way. Why aren't you married?"

"You STALKER!" cried Ms. Latnem. She was about to spring at said person but Principal Os-Diputs held her back.

"Touché," muttered Jackal.

Marui, who had recovered from his 'little spasm', blew another bubble. "I bet she isn't married yet because nobody likes her since she has such a psycho and scary personality."

Ms. Latnem looked like a volcano ready to explode. But she slowly breathed in and refrained herself. "Because of all of your behaviours, I have decided that all of you will be undergoing my psychological fix immediately, starting tomorrow. We will begin with Kirihara. So long, you little monsters. Adieu." She walked to the main gate angrily and elegantly, but suddenly slipped on a banana peel and fell on her face.

Niou smirked. "My mistake."

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**A/N: This is our first crack fic. Unless you've noticed, Os-Diputs backwards is 'so stupid', and Latnem backwards is 'mental'. So Ms. Latnem's full name is actually 'terrifyingly mental'. Pretty cliché. There is going to be a chapter on each of the regulars, except for Yukimura, because if you hadn't noticed, he did not appear in the chapter above. He has gone to the hospital for another long check-up. By Noël and Chantal. **


	2. Kirihara Akaya part 1

**Disclaimer: We don't own prince of tennis or anything mentioned in the story

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It was almost a normal day for Kirihara Akaya. He went to school, failed his English test, ate lunch with the regulars, forgot his homework at home, and got a detention for insulting his math teacher. All was going remarkably right...until Kirihara saw Ms. Latnem at his tennis practice, that is. Everything went from heaven to hell.

Kirihara groaned. "I thought yesterday was just a nightmare!" he whispered to Marui.

Niou, who happened to be nearby, rolled his eyes. "You wish. She's a nightmare, all right."

"Time for the practice!" announced Ms. Latnem. She clapped her hands, yet nobody moved.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she screeched. "I clap my hands and you obey!"

Nobody moved. Everybody held their breath.

Ms. Latnem rolled her eyes. "Idiots! You are supposed to bow and say 'Yes, Ms. Latnem'! That is what all the people at England say to the Queen, her royal highness!"

"You're not a queen, though. You're nothing like a queen," muttered Niou under his breath. Ms. Latnem's eyes seemed to pierce holes in Niou's back.

"I say and you obey!" she screeched again. "And you first years! WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THIS PRACTICE?"

The first years looked afraid. "We-we also practice," stammered a rather brave one.

"NO NO ! YOU do not practice! YOU are too terrible! YOU stay OUT! All BUT the regulars OUT!" she screamed. The rest of the tennis members gasped.

"Madame," started Yagyuu.

"NO NO! I will hear NOTHING from you!"

"Ms. Latnem," addressed Sanada in a serious tone, "these first years and second years need hard training in order for them to succeed the Rikkai tennis club. It's important."

Ms. Latnem stared Sanada square in the eye. "Are YOU the coach or me? What I say IS LAW. You disobey me? You are OUT."

Sanada looked offended, but after all, he was a rock, and rocks didn't have any feelings, do they? And if he had feelings, then he would be a rather old rock, wouldn't he? So even if he had feelings, he needed to hide them or it would be rather disruptive, wouldn't it? So he must try to hide his inner feelings. GASP!

Ms. Latnem smirked. "I have decided that for this team's safety, we must ban Sanada. No more speaking of me, no more thinking of him, no more remembering him! And he himself...WILL STAY OUT OF THESE COURTS. OUT!"

"What?" asked Marui. "You can't ban Sanada from this club! He's been leading us on when Yukimura isn't here! He's practically the best person on the team except for Yukimura! You can't just ban him!"

Ms. Latnem laughed so evilly that evil villains would even think twice before messing with her and even the bravest men would cower under her presence. Of course, the Rikkai regulars are WAY better than superheroes or anybody else, even though they lost the Nationals in Middle school, so they did not cower at all.

"Would you like to be banned to, Marui?" she asked, immediately lowering the temperature 20 degrees that the weather reporter was accused of false reporting and was fired.

"N-No thank you. By the way, wasn't it supposed to be a 'sunny and warm day with a freshening breeze'?" asked Marui.

Yanagi felt so jealous that Yagyuu could adjust his glasses that moment. "According to my data," he began, "Ms. Latnem's laugh and here evil words have caused the decrease of the temperature, or _siccus _in Latin..."

Kirihara pouted. "Why do you have total control over us?" he questioned as he watched Sanada leave the courts. "I refuse to bow beneath a simple coach like you! We have surpassed you in so many ways!"

Ms. Latnem raised her eyebrows. "But not in psychology, of course. Now YOU will do what I say or I will get you..." She immediately made a decapitated action, even though she obviously meant expelled.

"The principal would never agree!" stated Niou proudly. Principal Os-Diputs immediately appeared behind everyone.

"Were you talking about me?" he asked, suddenly receiving the magical power of super hearing. "And yes, I have given Ms. Latnem permission to have total control over you, since she's my long lost sister who I have never seen or heard of before and whom my parents denied having and insisted I was lying. So, you must listen to her."

"Isn't it obvious that that's a lie?" asked Marui. "I mean, can't you tell?"

Principal Os-Diputs shook his head. "Oh no, she's my long lost sister who I have never seen or heard of before and whom my parents denied having and insisted I was lying. See? We look quite alike."

Everybody rolled their eyes, since it was obvious that Principal Os-Diputs did not look a single thing like Ms. Latnem. "Excuse me," started Jackal, "I do not see how you two look alike."

Principal shook his head in frustration. "It's so obvious! I mean, we both have noses, mouths, eyes, ears, hair, a neck, legs, arms, a heart and a face! Are you that stupid, my dear students? Where did all these years of education go?"

"If so," began Kirihara, "then shouldn't we look likes you too?"

Principal Os-Diputs sighed. "Of course not! You're all Japanese!"

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "Principal, you are also Japanese."

The principal shook his head again. "I'm not Japanese, I'm from Japan! Now please listen to your dear coach here or I will have to give you all detentions."

The regulars felt like tearing their hair in frustration at the principal's shocking stupidity.

Ms. Latnem smiled cruelly again. "See? Now run 100 laps!"

"That's less than half of what fukubuchou gives us," muttered Kirhara.

"Would you like a thousand, then?"

"N-no...I'm good."

Ms. Latnem turned to leave. "Oh yes!" she cried, turning around. "I just remembered. Mr. Kirihara here needs to end his anger management problems. I have almost forgotten."

Marui blew a bubble, which Ms. Latnem popped again. "Hey! That was a big bubble! So, anyways, how are you going to achieve that? Are you going to send him to a psychiatrist?"

Ms. Latnem rolled her eyes. "Of course I would not waste my precious income! What I mean is that you regulars must help Mr. Kirihara overcome his 'little problems'. You have the weekend to do that. When I see you on Monday, again, I shall expect you all to have cured him thoroughly or I shall see to you all being kicked off the team. Now, Adieu."

She walked gracefully to the main gate, but slipped on a banana peel and landed on her face.

"Whoops," exclaimed Niou. "My mistake."

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**A/N: Wow, we really hate this stupid oc, I want her to die, don't worry, she will! But for the sake of the plot she can't die - yet. Any ideas for how she should die? **

**By Chantal and Noel, all comments are welcome. Very welcome.**


	3. Kirihara Akaya part 2

**Disclaimer: none of this belongs to us.

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All of the regulars were lounged out in Jackal's room, staring at the ceiling.

"Why," exclaimed Jackal angrily, "does it have to be at MY house?"

Kirihara stuck his tongue out. "Because we hate you."

Jackal was immediately reduced to tears. "You really hate me?"

"No, we just hate your head," started Marui.

"And your face," remarked Niou.

"And your house!" exclaimed Kirihara as he suddenly stepped on a thumbtack.

"Also your personality," stated Yanagi.

"And lastly your tennis," ended Yagyuu.

Sanada frowned. "Which is basically everything."

"Sanada," said Yanagi, "this is supposed to be a regulars-only meeting...why are you here?"

"Hey!" yelled Kirihara. "Don't be mean to Sanada!"

Tears swelled in Jackal's eyes. "You stick up for Sanada but not me?"

"You're nice too, Jackal-senpai..."

"NO! I HATE THE WORLD! I HATE MY LIFE! I HATE EVERYBODY!" wailed Jackal as he bawled on the floor like a little child whose lollipop was stolen by other ninja-costume wearing, dagger-carrying little baby gangsters.

"Wow!" whispered Kirihara to Marui. "I never knew he had such large problems!"

"I know," whispered Marui back. "I've been his partner for so many years, and I've never realized that he had motherly-issues AND hating-his-life issues!"

Niou smirked. "Poor little Jackie's gone insane!" he murmured. Kirihara and Marui nodded in agreement.

Yanagi cleared his throat. "Due to many circumstances, we have almost forgotten why we are here. Ms. Latnem has instructed that we must come up with a way to save Akaya from his anger by Monday. It's Sunday today, and we've STILL HAVEN'T CAME UP WITH ANYTHING."

"I've got an idea!" squeaked Sanada like a little kid who was planning with kind giant purple dinosaurs how to get back his lollipop from other ninja-costume wearing, dagger-carrying little baby gangsters.

"That was SO not you," replied Yagyuu.

Sanada blushed.

"This is so interesting!" exclaimed Yanagi while scribbling furiously in his data book. "I must tell this to Sadaharu! This is amazing! This is the only data I have on Sanada right now except that he used to like barbies when he was three!"  
Marui gasped. "Sanada used to like BARBIES?" Kirihara breathed in deeply and held his breath. Niou was laughing his head off in the distance, and Yagyuu was coughing politely into his handkerchief while trying not to laugh.

Sanada blush turned crimson. "TARUNDORU! All of you!"

Everybody stopped what they were doing and started staring at him. "Yanagi! You were NOT allowed to tell ANYONE that!" he screamed, his face purple from lack of air.

Yanagi bowed. "I'm sorry, Sanada. It just slipped out of my mouth, by the way, it is your fault that when I came over last month you let me see all the Barbie dolls and dresses in your drawer."

Sanada turned from pink to red, from red to green, from green to blue, from blue to purple, and from purple to as white as a sheet. As his eyes rolled upwards, Sanada fainted and crumbled to the ground.

"Oh," said Kirihara to interrupt the silence. "He's dead."

Niou face-palmed. "Your buchou is dead and all you say is 'Oh. He's dead'? How heartless of you!"

Marui rolled his eyes. "It's not like you care either, Niou. You probably wouldn't even budge if I died in front of you!"

Niou shrugged. "I would budge if you landed on me, though," he argued. "I mean, you're like a ton of fat meat and sugar."

Marui scoffed. "Well excuse-_me _but _you're _the one with a teddy bear named 'Teddy'."

"Well you're the one with a stuffed pig!"

"But you're the one with candy canes hidden in your underwear drawer!"

"You're the one who hides your diary under your bed!"

"Excuse-_me!"_

"Excuse-_me!_"

Niou and Marui immediately started cat-fighting to the death. Tufts of hair flew. Strips of clothing landed everywhere.

Yanagi was scribbling at super-sonic speed in his notebook. "Wow!" he exclaimed excitedly. "There is so much data today! This is a data feast! I MUST share my notes with Sadaharu!"

Yagyuu tried to separate the two monsters, but got knocked out by a random basketball that seemed to fly out of nowhere. Niou and Marui stepped on and over him, still fighting.

Kirihara sat on Jackal's bed, swinging his legs idly. He suddenly kicked Yagyuu on the face who was about to get up, and Yagyuu fainted again.

Jackal had just come from the bathroom after washing his face and telling himself no, he wasn't going to cry.

But when he saw the scene in his room, he felt like crying. Niou and Marui were fighting; things were flying around; Yanagi was scribbling in his notebook like a maniac; Sanada had fainted; Yagyuu had just got up from his faint and was stumbling around like a idiot and Kirihara was just sitting on his bed, swinging his legs idly.

"What...is...going...on...in here?" Jackal stumbled. Oh god, his parents were going to kill him.

Kirihara shrugged. "Nothing much."

Oh my.

After having lunch, stopping the fight, waking up the dead and cleaning up Jackal's room, the team was gathered in Jackal's living room.

Yanagi slapped his forehead. "I was so busy collecting data I almost forgot!" he shouted. "I just remembered that we still have to 'cure' Akaya!"

All heads turned to look at said victim. "What!" questioned Kirihara. "You don't have to look at me like that! It's rude."

Marui rolled his eyes. "How are we supposed to cure him? It's not like we're psychiatrists or anything."

Yanagi shrugged. "Perhaps," he stated, "you could just make him pretend that he is cured, and then we don't have to do anything!"

"What a great idea!" commented Niou.

Jackal sighed. "I don't think that's such a great idea, since you all ruined my room!"

Niou stuck his tongue out. "Nobody cares what you think, right, Marui?"

"Sure...whatever," answered Marui.

Kirihara's jaw dropped to the floor. "So I have to pretend I'm all _nice _and _friendly_? I'd rather die."

Sanada looked very serious. "You must, if you don't want to be kicked off the team. If you are, even I can't help you."

"Who said we needed your help?" questioned Jackal, still bitter.

"Fine. Be that way," replied Sanada with a huff. He exited the room in a hurry.

Kirihara was still gasping. "I have to be nice? That's impossible!

Yanagi looked up from his data book. "You have to, unless you want to stop playing tennis from now on. I believe that you wouldn't enjoy that, Akaya."

As all the regulars exited Jackal's house (except for Jackal, who was grinning like he was a hobo and he just won the lottery). "I hate Ms. Latnem," mumbled Kirihara.

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**A/N: personally, we think that akaya IS a nice person, but for the sake of the plot, he will be mean. We hope that we didn't offend anybody, if we did, I apologize. **

**By Chantal and Noel, all comments/reviews are welcome =)**


	4. Kirihara Akaya part 3

**Disclaimer: Non of this belongs to us. Enjoy!

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Kirihara Akaya was on his bed, thinking. It was Monday, the huge event. After being leaving Jackal's house, he had thought over Yanagi's proposition over again. Acting nice? That's near impossible. But on the other side, he really didn't want to be kicked off the team like Sanada, even though he knew that Ms. Latnem will probably be shooed away after a while. But tennis was his life! Not playing tennis for even a little time, was pure hell to him. He couldn't live without it. Then suddenly, he remembered somebody. Yukimura.

That was why he called the rest of the regulars to devise their rescue.

"Yanagi!" shouted Kirihara into the phone. "Let's ask Yukimura to save us!"

"Akaya, it's 5:00 in the morning. I suggest you get some sleep before coming to school."

"But-"

"Goodbye, let's talk at school."

"Jackal!" screamed Kirihara with a lot of enthusiasm into the phone. "I've got a amazing plan!"

"Akaya, go back to sleep. I don't think-yawn-it's time for school yet. Bye."

"Don't-!"

"Marui!" called Kirihara. "I—"

"It's time for school? What? I'm late? NO! I must get dressed! Bye!"

"Niou-senpai!" yelled Kirihara. "Did—"

"Sorry, but Niou isn't here right now. So if you don't to be killed, have cold water poured on your head, slip on everything, get chicken feathers glued on you, have your pants pulled down, have me trip you every time I see you, and get made fun of for the rest of your life, then I advise you to hang up and stop calling me or spamming me or call me again at this time, or everything above might happen to you. Bye!"

Kirihara sighed and decided to dial Yagyuu's number.

"Yagyuu~!"he said in a sing-song voice, not caring to waste his precious voice.

"Tami-kun, I'm extremely sorry but I am still saying no to your invitation to a movie and a moonlight dinner. I am very busy, and if I don't spend the weekend with Niou-kun, then I'll probably be picking gum out of my hair for weeks and have Marui crying on my shoulder every day. Besides, I believe it's still quite early. Now also, Tami-kun, could you stop stuffing my locker with love-confessions and spamming quite random things and stalking my 24/7? Thank you, and goodbye."

Kirihara opened his mouth in awe and stared at his cell phone. There was only one person left now.

"Sanada?" he asked.

"Kirihara! You don't understand how long I've been waiting for someone to call me!" sobbed Sanada into his phone.

Kirihara suddenly had a light bulb idea. "Oh wait!" he exclaimed. "You're not on the team anymore, so why should I be talking to you?"

"NO! PLEASE DON'T HANG—"

Kirihara sighed and lied down on his bed again. Nobody seemed to care, even though he was possibly suggesting the idea that would save their lives! Oh well, he'll talk to them at school.

***  
LUNCH

Marui fumed. Smoke could almost be seen coming out of his ears in puffs. "KIRIHARA AKAYA. You are SO dead. You woke me up at five in the morning, and when I got here I realized it was only six! Then some random teachers came along and stated that I shouldn't be here this early, and gave me detention! At detention I had to clean ALL of the graffiti that Niou drew on the toilets and on the toilet paper, which was an infinity amount. Oh you are SO dead."

As Marui started charging at him, Kirihara received another light bulb idea. "Wait! Shouldn't you be killing Niou-senpai instead since it was he who drew all the graffiti?"

Marui stopped and started thinking hard. "EUREKA!" he shrieked. "Oh Niou you are SO dead." He then charged at Niou and both of them started cat-fighting to the death again.

As Kirihara sat down, Yanagi applauded for him. "Wow, Akaya. You have certainly gotten 2.46% smarter. Congratulations."

Kirihara beamed. Sanada held his tray as he made his way over to where the rest of the regulars were. "Hello," he greeted them casually. "The spaghetti was quite good."

Since Kirihara was certainly more smarter, so he suddenly had another light bulb. "Oh wait...Sanada, this is a regulars-only table, so why are you here?" he questioned.

Sanada tore at his hair in frustration. "NO!" he cried. "I was trying to act casual so none of you would notice!"

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "Sanada-kun, commenting on the spaghetti when we didn't have spaghetti for lunch and acting all cool was certainly not your style, and it was quite obvious that you were just trying to act casual. Besides, since Ms. Latnem..."

"Who was talking to me?" asked a voice with a British accent.

"I beg your pardon, I..."

"No," stated Ms. Latnem, glaring at the cowering people. "You will not speak like a gentleman. I HATE gentlemen."

Kirihara pouted. "But you see, everybody likes gentleman!" he retorted. "I mean, who would want someone like Niou-senpai in their class?" Somewhere amongst the catfight, Niou threw a glare at Kirihara.

"Well, time for tennis practice," she announced, clapping her hands. Marui and Niou stopped fighting immediately. "THIS early?" gasped Marui. "It's only lunch time!"

Ms. Latnem rolled her eyes. "What I say is LAW. I have arranged this time with Principal Os-Diputs, and he certainly agrees. So of you go...NOW."

Suddenly, a fan girl staggered up in front of Yagyuu. "Oh Yagyuu-senpai!" she shrieked. "It's your darling Tami-kun!"

She continued to throw herself into Yagyuu's arms, but Ms. Latnem threw her arm in front of Tami and slapped fainted. All the people in the cafeteria stopped eating and stared.

Ms. Latnem cleared her throat. "Anyone who interferes with the regulars' practice will be punished. Take her death as your example."

"Tami's not dead," Jackal pointed out.

Ms. Latnem glared at him. "Silence. Now," she started, turning to look at Kirihara. "And you! Let me see your resolve." Her smile twisted and became a smirk...

Da da da da...(Beethoven's fifth symphony in C minor)

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**A/N: Hi, again! I just cannot believe that I have to write 4 CHAPTERS for each character! Life isn't fair. Hmpf. **

**Okay, back to the author's note. Anyways, I have been trying to make all my chapters at least a thousand words long, since I HATE most one-shots, no offence, since they're just so short and the plot just doesn't go on and it just ends so abruptly...though long one-shots are okay. **

**I would also like to thank some of my first and many reviewers: TsukikoIchihara, EcstaticPetenshi, xCinnamonXSwirlx, Cysil-Requiem(thanks for the death idea! I'll probably use it, but she's not going to be dead though, since I have another thought...), diamondapril11, amirakisuke, Coco96(thanks for reviewing for N3RD L0V3 too!), kreyzk, and I like Randomness. Thanks for your support! **

**And also I apologize since I haven't updated for a long time. I was just really busy and stuff. **

**By: Noël and Chantal, not one of us, both of us. **


	5. Kirihara Akaya: The Act

**Disclaimer: nothing belongs to us.

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Kirihara swallowed. It was now time to test his perseverance. But what worse could Ms. Latnem do? Murder him? Impossible. Principal Os-Diputs would never allow it...would he? It is, after all, illegal to abuse young children.

Ms. Latnem led them to the tennis courts. Kirihara turned to follow the rest of the regulars to start practice, but Ms. Latnem stopped him. "Come to the club room," she drawled, and left.

Kirihara stuttered to the club room, his mind working overtime. Was Ms. Latnem going to rape him or something? Or was she going to poison him in the safety of the locked door? And apparently, he was all wrong.

Ms. Latnem instructed Kirihara to sit directly in front him, so that they were face to face, only divided by the long, rectangular table. "Now, let me test you. Here is a test sheet. Fill it in, as you feel."

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TEST:

What would you do if somebody slapped you?

A. Slap him/her back.

B. Secretly make voodoo dolls, recite terrible curses, and throw death glares at him/her.

C. Walk away.

D. Smile, and ask him/her if they want to have a chocolate sundae.

What would you do if somebody insulted you?

A. Insult him/her back.

B. Secretly mutter unforgivable insults under your breath at him/her.

C. Ignore him/her.

D. Smile, and ask him/her if they want to have a chocolate sundae.

What would you do if somebody killed your best friend?

A. Kill his/her best friend.

B. Secretly cry your eyes out and stab your voodoo dolls every single day.

C. Stay away from him/her forever.

D. Smile, and ask him/her if they want to have a chocolate sundae.

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Kirihara snorted. This test was easy. Obviously, he would just have to choose the nicest response for all of he. So he chose d) for all of the 3 questions, and handed his sheet in. Ms. Latnem smirked, and handed him the answer sheet back.

ANSWER SHEET:

If you have chosen a) for all/most of them: you are normal.

If you have chosen b) for all/most of them: you are evil.

If you have chosen c) for all/most of them: you are nice.

If you have chosen d) for all/most of them: you seriously have problems. Go see a doctor.

Kirihara swore. "What the hell? This doesn't make sense!" he shouted, tearing the sheet in half. Ms. Latnem held up a handmade cardboard sign: you have failed. Prepare for death. Immediately, 2 burly security guards pulled Kirihara out of his seat, pressed a secret code on a huge lock that appeared out nowhere, and threw Kirihara in the secret room. He was in jail. Seriously. The only vision of him could be seen through the barred window on the large metal door. He was seriously in jail.

* * *

Marui looked at his watch. "Kirihara's late. I'm sure the big test won't be that long! It's been an HOUR!"

Ms. Latnem stepped out of the club room and clapped her hands. "Is it Kirihara Akaya you are looking for? Well if so, then I shall inform you...he is in jail, for pretending to be cured and wasting my precious time."

Niou snorted. "You put him in jail? Impossible! There's only a jail at a police station, and they would never let random children in. I've been there in fact, for a couple of minutes, since I was caught rigging the vending machines. Puri. It was a good prank...if anybody inserted a coin in it, the whole vending machine would start shaking and beeping, and eventually topple onto the unlucky victim. Too bad I didn't get to test it on someone...but the police officers caught me. Some were going to throw me in jail for a couple of days, but apparently I fit in their 'Random Children Who When Sent to Jail Will Cause Mayhem and Disorder' section, so I was let off."

"Really?" Marui widened his eyes in surprise. "I thought all the police officers did was sit around drinking coffee and eating doughnuts!"

Niou smirked. "That's in the movies, _fatty. _But to think about it...I believe that they had just came back from a coffee break at a nearby café."

Ms. Latnem cleared her throat. "Anyways, come NOW." She started away, and the Rikkai regulars grimly followed her, whispering and bickering (in Niou and Marui's case). As they reached the club room, they caught sight a angry Kirihara with blood-red eyes banging on a large, metal door that looked indestructible.

"LET ME OUT!" screamed Kirihara, obviously hyperventilating. "LET. ME. OUT!"

Yanagi flipped through his data book quickly. "How did you get all this equipment made and fastened in? I'm pretty sure this is the latest security item, and at the last auction a set was sold at a auction at the price of ¥79, 611!"

Ms. Latnem smirked. "I used the equipment money that Principal Os-Diputs lent me."

"But our equipment money is only ¥1,000! That's still very less compared to the price!"

"I have my ways, so now shut up. Back to the subject. According to my data, Marui Bunta is next. Marui Bunta. I will see your results on Friday. Now goodbye." As she turned to leave, she immediately slipped on a banana peel and got run over by a truck...JUST JOKING. Of course that wouldn't happen, since this story needs to go on. But she did slip on a banana peel and fall on her face.

Niou scratched his head in wonder. "She always seems to slip on my garbage...though I am truly, truly sorry. Puri."

* * *

**A/N: This chapter didn't reach my goal of 1000 words though, but oh well. I don't feel like writing anymore. The next chapter will be a sort of interlude from the main story, and a Yukimura chapter, since I feel guilty that I haven't mentioned him at all yet.**

**All reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated! Please let us know if you have any complaints about anything. ; ). By Noël and Chantal. **


	6. Interlude: Jail Break

**Disclaimer: We do not own Prince of Tennis nor any of the characters in it. Thanks!**

* * *

Yanagi carefully drew the plan out on line paper in clear, neat letters. "Okay. First, we break Kirihara out of jail, and then we go and beg Yukimura to save us! It's just that simple."

Sanada, whom Yagyuu had thoughtfully included, raised his eyebrows. "How do you know Yukimura can save us?"

Marui crossed his arms. "Of course he can! Mura-buchou can do anything! After all, he's the child of god."

Yanagi looked surprised. "I never do get that nickname," he sighed. "It's just too...too... illogical! You are only the child of somebody if they are your natural parents! Yukimura was not figuratively a child of god, since he never lived in heaven nor had a sibling named 'Jesus'. It's illogical."

Niou snorted (he seemed to snort a lot these days). "Gosh, Yanagi. You're so analytical it's pathetic. And by the way, I don't think we need your plan anymore."

Kirihara stepped out from behind Niou. "Hey senpai! Niou-senpai broke me out of jail today. It was awesome. I want to know how you can hack into the security system, cut open the lock with a chainsaw and escape without being caught!"

Jackal decided it was time to take charge. After all, he is Kirihara's babysitter and the most motherly of them all. (Also, he had the most common sense, as he believed). "Kirihara, I don't think you would want to know how Niou does all those things. After all, that's what _thieves _do."

Niou smirked. "Don't you want to know where I learned all these things?"

Jackal rolled his eyes. "I am SO desperate to know, Niou-sama," he replied sarcastically.

Niou grinned. "You see, I have these relatives, who..."

Marui blew a bubble. "We don't need to know about your numerous uncles who are involved in the black society or who are homicidal maniacs."

"Hey! How did you know?"

"All of your relatives are like that. I am surprised that you aren't in jail."

"Shut up. My uncles and aunts are really nice...they taught me how to hack into security system, crack locks, hack passwords, blow up things, hack into bank accounts, rob a bank..."

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "Rob a bank? Did you actually rob one, Niou-kun?"

"No."

"Oh that's fine then-"

"But I watched my grandma. You see, watch and learn."

"Robbing banks is a violation of the law and policy of..."

"Nobody cares what you say," responded Niou, making a face.

"I am offended!"

"Oh just SUOIWTYAAMYS!"

Kirihara looked at Sanada in wonder. "What does that mean?"

"It means: Shut Up Or I Will 'Tarundoru' You All And Make You Suffer."

Yanagi clapped. "That is quite a amazing discovery of a new slang word, SUOIWTYAAMYS!"

Sanada beamed. "I knew you would appreciate my intelligence!"

"I was using sarcasm," Yanagi pointed out.

Marui cleared his throat. "Aren't we supposed to be telephoning Yukimura now to beg him to save us?"

Everybody nodded in unison and 'Ooh!'ed and 'Ah!'ed at Marui's suggestion. They immediately rushed to the nearest phone booth (which was quite a amazing sight, 7 teenagers rushing down the street). When they reached it, they began a intense round of 'rock, paper, scissors!' to decide who would phone Yukimura. Marui won.

Marui dialled Yukimura's number.

"Moshi moshi? This is Yukimura Seiichi. Could you hold for one minute? I am taking a blood test right now."

"Mura-buchou?" sobbed Kirihara onto Sanada's shoulder, who rudely shrugged him off (he was probably still bitter from what had happened like EONS ago).

"Okay! Thanks for holding. What is your name, mister, or miss?"

"It's me, Mura-Buchou. Marui. We would-AH!"

A dagger protruded from the telephone box, just inches away from Marui's hand. All of the regulars scrambled out, and was astonished to see a certain evil coach cleaning her precious dagger and petting dirt of her sleeves daintily.

"Ms. Latnem?" questioned Yagyuu. "May I please ask why did you stick a dagger in the telephone booth, nearly murdering our dear teammate? I don't believe there is any need to murder Marui, since he has not done anything wrong. By the way, brutally damaging the telephone booth, which is public property, is not a very bright thing to do."

"Shush. Anyways...I believe that you should all focus more on tennis than anything else, or there will be certain circumstances that will be paid. If you guys even DARE, to call your captain again using your cell phones, then I am afraid that I will have to deal with your little friend here. You may not even see him ever again! Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha!" She actually said 'moo-ha-ha-ha-ha'. That was like the most evilest laugh of the evil laughs. Truly hair-raising.

The regulars had no choice but to leave for their homes, slightly depressed, but watching Kirihara being dragged away, screaming, by the ugly and fat body guards, was a sort of a twisted entertainment that brightened their day up a little.

Their day brightened up even more when Ms. Latnem slipped on a banana peel, and fell on her face in the middle of the road. A truck came steering at her. She screamed, but got away just in the knack of time.

"Aw, miss!" Niou cried out sadly. He whisked out a cell phone, and speed dialled someone. "Hey, grandma. It's me, Niou. Thanks for that awesome driving, but you missed her. Too bad. Thanks, anyways. Bye!"

* * *

**A/N: I haven't updated in a LONG time. Just was really busy and stuff. Just a fun fact: I have this friend, who sent me this random email, and at the end she was like "Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha!". It was sort of dumb. I was tempted to swear in the awesome slang word I made up, but then I might have to change the rating, and I don't want to change it.**

**Thanks everybody for reading! And just a side note: to Cysil-Requiem-here is your idea! I was planning to use it later on, but oh well. And also thanks to Trancy Phantomhive and Kaiesia for reviewing. I'm not sure I got those names right. **

**Thanks! **


	7. Marui Bunta part 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own Prince of Tennis.**

* * *

It was Tuesday afternoon. Everybody was at Jackal's house (for some reason they just felt like staying there and torturing him), excluding Kirihara, of course, who was now spending time in jail.

"It's Tuesday," Yagyuu pointed out. "We now only have 2 days to save Marui-kun, not counting today, that is."

"We know it's Tuesday," Jackal grumbled as he came in the room with a tray. Seriously, they're at _his _house, and they're ordering _him _around to pour the drinks. Where was law? Where was the policy? Where was justice?

"I DON'T want to give up on sugar!" wailed Marui. "Sugar is my life and soul! If I ever lose her, I'll be deathly sick and I'll die!"

"You're talking about sugar like she's your lover...but wait, why is sugar a 'she'?" demanded Yanagi. "It's illogical! Sugar should be referred to as 'sugar'!"

"That was pointless," stated Sanada, slightly content that he was actually included.

Niou was lounged out on Jackal's bed, chillin' like ice cream fillin'. "So what are we supposed to do? Make Marui pretend to hate sugar like Kirihara? I'll bet you anything he's gonna end up in jail too."

Yanagi rolled his eyes, but since his eyes were closed, so nobody discovered his inconsiderate act. "Making Kirihara pretend to be a kind person was a miscalculation at my point. I assumed that Ms. Latnem wouldn't go to measures that far, but..." he clenched his fist.

"Why are you clenching your fist?" asked Jackal, afraid that Yanagi might punch his furniture or blow up his house.

"Oh. For dramatic effect, of course. It's not like I care much about Kirihara's well-being, but it's just that my data was wrong! I cannot stand having incorrect data, so I'm angry."

"Hey!" responded Marui. "Can you get your awesome grandma to run over that evil witch again? I'm sure she can manage, right, Niou?"

Niou shook his head. "She's planning a robbery of a casino in Las Vegas with my auntie. She's really busy, and apparently she got her license suspended, but since she's a little old lady that's 90 years old, the police let her off. To think about it, she should have gotten a 10,000 yen fine, but she's just awesome like that."

"Shouldn't your grandma be one of those cat-loving, white-haired, smiling and kind old ladies with walking-sticks?" questioned Jackal.

Niou shook his head, then nodded. "You know, she does fit your description, except she's a criminal, not a cat-lover. She caused many of the famous bank-robberies in her old age. When she was young, she was a teacher."

Sanada raised his eyebrows. "How-"

Marui jumped up. "You're supposed to be helping me!" he whined. "I'm gonna get killed, and you're talking about your grandmothers? It's not fair!"

Yagyuu stood up and bowed. "I apologize for our inconsiderate behaviour. Let's talk about strategies, then."

Niou raised his hand. "What about we blow up Ms. Latnem's house, shoot her, stab her, torture her, and then throw her into a river?" he suggested. "And maul her with a truck. I'm sure grandma would love to do the honours."

Jackal swallowed. "What about we actually try to make Marui cut on sugar?" he replied weakly, frightened by Niou's suggestion.

Yagyuu made an action for everybody to lower their hands. "Now, let's have a vote. Who votes for Niou's plan?" Niou, Sanada and Marui raised up their hands.

"And who votes for Jackal's plan?" Jackal, Yanagi, and Yagyuu raised up their hands.

"Jackal's plan it is," announced Yanagi.

"Hey!" remarked Marui. "It's a tie! How come you guys won?"

Yanagi grinned. "My vote counts as two."

"Then Sanada's vote should also count as two!" argued Niou.

"Yagyuu's vote also counts as two. Enough," Yanagi answered.

* * *

It was 7 o' clock. They were at their favourite restaurant, including Kirihara (Niou had asked if Kirihara may have dinner with them, and Ms. Latnem agreed, except Kirihara needed to wear the iron ball thing on his ankle like in the movies). Every customer glanced at Kirihara's feet with a twinkle in their eyes.

"I hate this ball thing!" moaned Kirihara. "Everybody stares at me and thinks I'm acting as a prisoner to raise money!"

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "This iron ball is quite old-fashioned and annoying, but I'm afraid Ms. Latnem has total control over us. We might get expelled if we don't listen to her."

After having a meal of spaghetti and other food, it was time for dessert.

Marui stared at the menu. "I'll have, um, the 'triple scoop cookies n' cream ice cream with drizzled strawberry syrup.'" Everybody immediately gave him 'the look'.

Marui started sweating. "I'll have the double scoop chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce then," he replied. Everybody gave him 'the look' again.

"I mean, I'll have a strawberry ice cream cone," Marui trembled in fear, and immediately changed his choice. Everybody gave him 'the look', once again.

"Actually, I'll, um, have strawberry flavoured frozen yogurt." 'The look' was given once more.

"Fine," sighed Marui, exhausted. "I'll have a vanilla yogurt, no sugar added." Everyone smiled.

Wednesday.

Marui sat on his bed, and watched the regulars surround his wardrobe. His right eye twitched.

"Aha!" shouted Niou. "I have found Marui's secret candy collection!" He immediately pulled out 100 candy bars, 40 lollipops, 50 packs of bubble gum, and 60 frosted cupcakes, wrapped carefully in a plastic wrapper.

Marui sighed and dropped to his knees. "No!" he shook his fist at the heavens dramatically. All the regulars stared at him in awe at his dramatic behaviour.

"How can you stuff so many things into your wardrobe?" demanded Jackal. "This is quite an art."

Marui beamed, then his face fell. "I would totally, like, tell you, but YOU JUST RAIDED MY SUPER SECRET SUGAR SNACKS aka. S.S.S.S!" He ended the sentence in a scream.

Niou shrugged, picked up a chocolate bar and bit into it. "But you really do need to cut on sugar, since if Ms. Latnem discovers your hidden secret, then you'll be in jail like poor little Kirihara wearing the iron ball thing and looking like a hobo. Do you want that?"

Marui quickly shook his head. "No thank you."

Yanagi and Yagyuu piled Marui's super secret sugar snacks aka. S.S.S.S into a large bag.

"Let's go," ordered Yanagi. "When we get back to headquarters, we'll split the loot."

"Okay," stated Sanada. "That just sounded like we're robbers or bandits or murderers or something."

"Seriously," replied Jackal, rolling his eyes. "What are we?"

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "We are normal people who have just removed a friend's illegal collection for his own health."

Niou rolled his eyes. "You make us sound like we're police who have just stopped somebody from consuming drugs, and like we're actually doing something good and for a good cause."

"We aren't?" questioned Sanada, shouldering the heavy bag. "And so what? Let's leave, secretly." Everybody except for Marui exited Marui's bed room, on tip-toes, whispering quietly and they totally looked like the robbers in child movies. They had also thoughtfully wore black clothing, and Jackal even had a black mask on his face. They also wore black beanies.

Marui plopped on his bed, thoroughly beaten. "No!" he sobbed. "Why has god unleashed his fury upon me? I'm DOOMED! NO!"

* * *

**A/N: I sincerely apologize if I had just made Marui sound like a total push-over and a wimp. I personally did not wish for this effect, and I'm also not religious, but oh well.**

**NOTE: To I like Randomness-here is your creepy idea in your review (Niou's suggestion)! The original idea sort of scared me, so I changed it a little. **

**And also to one of my reviewers...I think I remember that one of you had suggested they go to a camp? I am also going to use that idea, except a morphed version, but I have no idea who had suggested this. If you have suggested this, then you are welcome to tell me and I will thank you for this idea.**

**Also, I would like to thank my new reviewers for reviewing: Genocide Never Again, and Cranapple. I thank those that read my author's notes, since I really like writing these. =).**

**Lastly, if any of you have a idea for some other chapters in Rikkai Addicts, _you are free to post them in your reviews_ and we will personally discuss and decide whether we will use them or not.**

**Thanks to everybody for reviewing! We really love reviews. By Noël and Chantal! =)**

**P.S. I use 'and' and 'also' too much **


	8. Marui Bunta part 2

**Disclaimer: We do not own Prince of Tennis. This anime belongs to Konomi Takeshi. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

Wednesday later on.

"I want the lollipop!" wailed Kirihara.

All the Rikkai regulars were visiting him at jail. Sanada, looking actually a little happy, though not very happy, after all, he was a rock, and must remain as rocky as possible; Yanagi, scribbling in his data book of the specific amount of calories the 'loot' contained; Niou, looking like it was his birthday; Yagyuu, as gentlemanly as ever; Jackal, his bald head as bald as always; and Marui, almost in tears, looking extremely grumpy and upset.

"You know," stated Marui crossly, "this is MY food."

Niou picked a cupcake. "So?" he replied with his mouth full. "It was not us who decided you must cut on sugar, but a certain evil coach that should have gotten mauled over by a truck. Though I do thank her for letting us collect so much—"

"I'm getting pissed," interrupted Marui, his voice edging closer and closer to something. "You do NOT want to get me pissed."

"I am not the scared of you at all. You being pissed is not even frightening."

"Is so."

"Is not."

"Is so."

"Is not."

"Is so!"

"Is not!"

"IS SO!"

"IS NOT!"

Niou and Marui started sissy fighting (no seriously, since they were under the inspection of Ms. Latnem's security cameras). It was quite a sight.

"Guys!" exclaimed Yanagi. "I have figured out that this bag of sweets is specifically 61820000.9384810289385439175846566..." His voice gradually got drowned out by all the arguing.

"I want this lollipop!" shouted Kirihara. "I want lemon!"

"No, Kirihara," ordered Sanada. "The elders will get to choose first."

"Why do you care?"

"Because some important person once said 'respect your elders'."

"Then that person should go die. The youngsters are WAY more important than grouchy old husky rocky men!" huffed Kirihara.

Sanada's face turned scarlet. "Excuse-me? Did you just call me a 'grouchy old husky rocky man'?"

"So?"

"Oh no you did-n't."

"Oh yes I di-id."

"Oh-"

"Guys, we should seriously stop," said Yagyuu. "We might be under the inspection of Ms. Latnem's security cameras. I assume she will not be pleased at the sight of this."

"..."

"-Is NOT-"

"-Oh yes I di-id-"

"Guys..."

"...3947120337594719..."

"-Is SO-"

"-Oh no you did-n't."

"-Is my head too bald? Should I—"

"STOP IT!" screeched Yagyuu. Everybody stopped what they were doing.

"Guys," started Yagyuu, "you do know that Ms. Latnem could be watching us right now, right?"

Everybody coughed, arranged their clothes, patted their hair (or in Jackal's case, his head), politely bowed to the burly security guards, picked up the 'loot' and left.

"Kirihara Akaya, check," muttered Ms. Latnem to herself. "Marui Bunta, check. Only 4 more to go after tomorrow. Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Thursday.

"There's only one day left," announced Ms. Latnem. "Only 1 more day to fix this _person _here or consequences will be paid."

Niou raised an eyebrow. "Isn't he already fixed? I mean, we already cut him off sugar and took away all his S.S.S.S...do you understand what I mean?"

"Of course!" declared Ms. Latnem. "I know everything. S.S.S.S is Super Secret Sugar Snacks, is that correct? Now pass over the loot." She grabbed the bag from Sanada, and started greedily stuffing her face with the cupcakes.

Jackal gasped. "How did you know? Do you have inspection cameras placed in our houses or something?"

"Maybe, maybe not," replied Ms. Latnem with her mouth full. "Now go away before I get annoyed."

The regulars left grumpily, unhappy to have their prize token away from them, except for Marui, who didn't know whether to be happy or sad that his S.S.S.S were in Ms. Latnem's hands.

But it didn't matter.

Thursday later on.

The ringing bell signalled the end of the day, and also the start of practice. Everybody entered the club room (which was empty, since Ms. Latnem had ordered away all of the rest of the tennis club members).

"You know," stated Yanagi, "there's only one day left—today to save Marui. If we can't get him completely cured by the end of today, then he'll end up like Akaya in jail."

"Stop overstating the obvious," shouted Akaya from his cell (the burly security guards had left just to give the regulars some privacy). "And also, I can hear you from here! So don't you dare say any insults about me!"

"I understand," replied Yanagi. "But I'm not insulting you, so why do you care?"

Akaya rolled his eyes and went to get some sleep. Suddenly, Jackal's cell phone rang. "Moshi moshi?"

"Hello, it's me, Yukimura." Tears sprang in Kirihara's eyes as he rushed towards the door of the jail cell. "You see, Kirihara's parents had called me earlier on today to ask me where did Kirihara go. Apparently, he has not been home for 3 days, and it's going to be the fourth today. Do you know where he went?"

Jackal immediately opened his mouth to respond correctly to the question, but Niou nudged and mouthed 'security cameras' to him, so Jackal closed his mouth again. "I'm speechless," he declared, overstating the obvious.

"Well, that's fine...just a question, are you trying to hide something from me?"

Marui motioned to have Jackal give him the phone. Jackal did. "Well, buchou, there's absolutely nothing that we're hiding from you. Right, Yagyuu?"

"Yes, that is correct," responded Yagyuu shakily. He lied! Oh my, it was a big hit on his gentlemanly instincts. But for some reason, his heart didn't ache as much as before. Perhaps this curing addictions thing was really getting on to him?

"That's okay, then. Bye!"

All the regulars shuffled out of the club room slowly. Ms. Latnem awaited them at the courts. She clapped, which nearly frightened the regulars out of their wits. "Very nice. I assume that you have learned your lesson on disobeying me that time. But just in case...your cell phones, please."

Niou looked confused. "You mean to hand them over to you? I refuse."

Ms. Latnem coughed and whipped out her own cell phone. "Then I'm afraid I would have to inform Principal Os-Diputs..."

Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "Please do not, dear Ms. Latnem. I believe that there is no point in phoning the principal for such little matters. Here is my cell phone." Yagyuu immediately handed his cell phone in, followed by the rest of the people.

Ms. Latnem smirked. "Very well. Now, I will announce to you my idea...a field trip."

Everybody gasped. "Seriously?" demanded Marui.

"Yes indeed. Only the regulars will come, including Kirihara here. Take this notice back to your parents, and have them sign it and deposit ¥50. Bring it back to me tomorrow, or punishments will be held. You are all informed to meet me here at school on Saturday morning, 10 o'clock, as in the notice."

"Where will we be going?" asked Niou. "And for how long?"

"We will be going somewhere, and for perhaps a few days. But do not believe that you should all be relieved, since this is more of a punishment trip than an enjoyment one. It's also to enhance your tennis skills, and improve your work."

"Do we have to attend?" whined Jackal.

Ms. Latnem glared at him. "You _must. _And I almost forgot...Marui Bunta, I shall be seeing your resolve tomorrow. I wish you luck...now farewell." She smirked again.

Ms. Latnem then left with a twirl towards the gates, carefully watching her every step. But still, she slipped on a watermelon peel and fell on her face, crushing and smudging all the carefully put-on makeup. Everybody knew who did it. Niou was nowhere in sight.

* * *

**A/N: Now, I will do a complete thanks to most of my reviewers: EcstaticPetenshi, TsukikoIchihara, xCinnamonXSwirlx, amirakisuke, Coco96, I love Randomness, Trancy Phantomhive, Cranapple, Genocide Never Again, and AsianFrustration. Thanks everybody! **

**I believe somebody mentioned that why doesn't the regulars just phone Yukimura? Good question...I was speechless at the moment, so I hope the chapter above has just sort of explained things a little. Sorry! **

**And just a little reminder: this account IS shared by 2 people, and our names are: Noël and Chantal. **

**Just another thanks to people who read our author's notes, and to people that visit our profile. Thanks! All reviews, comments, suggestions and constructive criticism are appreciated. **

** By: Noël and Chantal**


	9. Marui Bunta part 3

**Disclaimer: We do not own the characters. They are from the anime prince of tennis. **

Friday.

_Time skip __Time skip __Time skip __Time skip __Time skip __Time skip_

It was lunch time. All the regulars' (including Kirihara, since Ms. Latnem had let him out of jail for today since his parents were getting suspicious and worried) appetites had dramatically decreased, so they were all at the library, carefully running over their plan.

"Okay, so Marui," began Yanagi, "you must be very careful to not let your instincts take over. You mustn't crave for 'ragus'—"

Kirihara leaned over towards Jackal. "Could you remind me again why are we code-wording 'sugar'?" he whispered. "I don't get it."

"You see," muttered Jackal back, "we don't want to remind Marui of his old craving for it, so we are trying to steer things away from the subject. If we must say 'sugar' though, we will say the Secret Communication Code aka. S.C.C., so Marui won't be upset."

"What's the Secret Communication Code?" asked Kirihara.

"You reverse the name of all products including sugar so Marui won't get frustrated and angry. So 'cake' becomes 'ekac', 'ice cream' becomes 'eci maerc', and so on..."

Kirihara nodded. He understood...sort of. "Hey, Yanagi-senpai, can I go get some puc sekac from the tressed aisle in the cafeteria?"

"I can't understand a word you're saying," remarked Niou, rolling his eyes.

But Kirihara continued to speak in S.C.C. "Does anybody want me to bring them some etalocohc ekac from the tressed aisle? I've also heard there's some yrrebwarts ekaceseehc there too, and I've also heard that they're selling etalocohc seadnus dosed in elpam purys..."

Niou murmured something rude to Yagyuu about Kirihara at that point. Marui looked up at Kirihara in wonder. "What on earth are you saying? I cannot understand a thing."

Kirihara sighed and pouted. "Gosh, and I thought that they would understand..." he suddenly looked at Jackal.

"What?" demanded Jackal.

"Is it just me or is it that only you are using the S.C.C.? Thanks a lot, I just embarrassed myself in front of my teammates." Kirihara moved away, avoiding Jackal. Jackal felt unspeakably hurt.

"Yanagi's also using the S.C.C.!" retorted Jackal, desperately trying to regain self-esteem.

"Where were you guys?" questioned Sanada as he plopped down on a chair beside the table where all the regulars were sitting.

"At the library," answered Marui. He poked at his French fries. "Ew...these fries are soggy. Blah!" Marui sighed and lifted a fry up with his fork, as if inspecting it. "If only this fry would turn into a piece of-"

Yanagi cleared his throat to interrupt Marui's little daydream. "Anyways, I believe that the bell will ring in exactly 3.29485 minutes..." But no one was listening.

Everybody was silent. Marui continued to poke at his fries, lifting them slowly to his mouth and chewing. Everybody stared.

Marui wiped his mouth with a napkin and sighed. "I feel like eating something sweet."

Everyone gasped and were speechless. Was all their work going to waste?

Yagyuu coughed. "If you would like something sweet, Marui-kun, then I believe that I may have the right thing for you." He whipped out a package from behind his back.

"This is..." Everybody else gasped. "...cough drops," finished Yagyuu. "And they're the Deluxe Delicious Lemon ones."

Kirihara's mouth watered. "W-where did you get them? They weren't supposed to be out until next month!"

Yagyuu smiled (or was it a smirk?), and adjusted his glasses. "You see, you can get deluxe things like cough drops, napkins and so on at the Gentlemen Society for free."

"Wow!" exclaimed Niou. "All for free? Gosh, I want to join too."

"Sorry," apologized Yagyuu, "the Gentlemen Society is for gentlemen, and no offence, but you, Niou-kun, don't really fit into the category."

"What other free things can you get there if you qualify as a gentleman?" asked Jackal.

Yagyuu pondered the question for a while. "Well, I believe that at every meeting, which is once a month, they will provide a free dinner, which includes steak, finely done mashed potatoes, crisp fried chicken, vegetable medley, rice, spaghetti, and so on. For dessert, however, there are many different puddings, ice creams, tarts, pies, and also c—" Yagyuu immediately stopped talking. The look on Marui's face was pitiful.

Sanada cleared his throat. "We're-" But Niou and Kirihara hushed him.

"Seriously, we're-" Niou and Kirihara hushed him again.

Sanada was starting to get mad. "Stop hushing me! We're-" But Niou and Kirihara continued to hush him.

Sanada was really mad now. "WHAT I WANTED TO SAY WAS THAT WE'RE LATE FOR OUR CLASSES!" he roared.

Jackal looked at him, blank-faced. "We know that," he answered. "Just to tell you, this is a library. No shouting." Niou and Kirihara just stared. But Marui wasn't going to just stand there and do nothing.

"I want sugar!" he bawled, sitting on the ground and kicking his legs.

Yanagi tucked his hand in his pocket. "Very well then, I guess you can't take it anymore..." He then extracted a small vial of a neon green liquid which swished dangerously in its container.

"What is that?" questioned Sanada, who felt that he must understand everything.

Yanagi flipped his data book. "According to my data, that's one of my friend's concoctions, and apparently it's named...wait a second...aha. Here it is. 'Inui's Deluxe Sugar Juice', and it's made of 30% secret ingredients, and 70% sugar-"

"Give me that!" exclaimed Marui crossly. He grabbed the vial and downed the contents in one gulp. "What is this?" he asked, smacking his lips. "It doesn't taste like sugar."

Yanagi observed Marui with a mild interest. "Actually, it's not sugar. It's merely 'sugar replacements', which my friend Inui invented, and it's made from 10% wild ginger, 26% wild tomatoes, 34% sea cucumbers, and 20% of various Chinese herbs. And I almost forgot-10% of his other juice, the 'Inui Appetizer Juice', which is supposed to get you to eat stuff. That's where the neon green comes from."

Everybody's jaw dropped to the floor. They turned and glanced at Marui, who was now a ugly shade of green (matching the liquid's colour), and was clutching his mouth.

"You don't look very well," declared Yanagi, overstating the obvious again. "Would you like to be excused to the bathroom for a while?"

Marui nodded, and rushed away. Everybody sighed, and shuffled back to their classes.

* * *

Practice.

_Time skip __Time skip __Time skip __Time skip __Time skip __Time skip_

"Why aren't Kirihara and Marui here?" demanded Ms. Latnem. (Niou secretly mouthed 'issues!' to Yagyuu)

"I guess Kirihara's at detention, but for Marui? I don't really know," lied Jackal. Marui was still barfing in the bathroom.

Ms. Latnem held here clipboard to her chest and started walking away. "Very well. When Marui Bunta comes, tell him to go to the club room. It's time to test his resolve...I shall be leaving." As she turned to leave, Niou slipped a watermelon peel out of his pocket and threw it in front of Ms. Latnem. As usual, Ms. Latnem slipped and fell on her face.

Niou dusted dirt of his shoulders like in the movies.

"How do you do that all the time?" asked Jackal, curious. "I never seem to see you eating anything."

Niou grinned. "I have my ways."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing, everyone! We really love reviews. It gives me motivation to continue writing. **

**Forgive me, this chapter may be slightly uneventful and even boring, but I really do want to have 3 parts and a 'act' part for each person, so this is why I lengthened the story a little. The next chapter will be sort of short...not really. **

**You see, right now my catchphrase is 'issues!' and I care-freely use it when somebody is doing something or acting stupid, or if someone is acting mental and constipated. Which in this case, the 'somebody' is Ms. Latnem.**

**This account is shared by 2 people, unless you haven't noticed by now. **

**Also, another thanks to people who read my author's notes or whom go on our profile. Thank you! =) By Noël and Chantal**


	10. Marui Bunta: The Test

**Disclaimer: We do not own Prince of Tennis. But we DO own something.**

Friday at practice, a few minutes later...

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip_

"Good luck," whispered Niou as he led Marui and Kirihara to the club room. "Break a leg..." he said to Marui, and Marui smiled, "literally!" Niou called to the closing door.

And maybe it was Niou's unlucky words that cursed Marui. Or maybe not.

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip_

"Sit down," Mrs. Latnem ordered while busily writing in her pocketbook.

Marui shrugged. "No thank you. I feel like standing up."

"Sit down."

"I'll stand up."

"Sit down immediately."

"But don't you want me to save from eroding your seat because of the friction my bum provides?"

"Just sit down before I decide you fail the test."

Marui sat down. He wasn't going down without a fight...

"Here's part of your test." Ms. Latnem shoved a piece of paper under Marui's nose.

* * *

1. What would you rather have for breakfast?

a) A bagel with cheese, a yogurt, some juice.

b) A cupcake, a slice of cheese cake, some chocolate milk.

c) Buttered toast, omelette, some milk.

2. What would you rather drink?

a) Pepsi.

b) Sprite

c) Coke.

d) A Diet Coke, no sugar added please.

3. What do you rather do on your weekend?

a) Work out.

b) Pig out.

c) Eat out.

d) Stay out.

4. What do you think of your awesome coach, Ms. Latnem?

a) I'm so afraid of her! She's Satan!

b) She is the kindest person on earth.

c) She should go to heaven when she dies.

d) She is the worst person I've ever seen. I hope she gets mauled by vamps, run over by a truck, stabbed, burned, killed, boiled in a stew pot, shot, and hanged. She's not frightening at all.

This is the end of your test. Hand it to Ms. Latnem now.

* * *

Marui stared at the piece of paper ahead of him, remember, he thought to himself. You don't want to be like Kirihara.

"Hurry up!" said Ms. Latnem. "I haven't got all day."

When somebody says that when you're trying to do something hard, it isn't what you want to hear.

"You know," replied Marui, "I shouldn't even do this test. I mean, how many sheets of paper have you wasted just to provide me this opportunity? I am a tree-lover, you know." He placed his hand on his heart.

"Whatever," shrugged Ms. Latnem, rolling her eyes. Deep down she was also a tree-lover, but since the trees hated her and cringed from her evil touch, she had felt so broken-hearted that she couldn't care less now.

Marui sighed, and filled in a) for all of the questions (for questions 2&3 he filled in d), although he delightedly chose d) in the last question. He handed his test into Ms. Latnem proudly, expecting the worse.

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip_

"You know that juice that Marui drank?" asked Jackal. "I hope it doesn't affect his IQ."

"Oh well," answered Niou. "I'm sure he'll be fine. By the way, shouldn't we have given that juice to Ms. Latnem? I would love to see her in Marui's state."

Yanagi sighed. "In fact, I would have given it to Ms. Latnem if only Marui hadn't been whining so badly that I just had to take it out since Sadaharu wanted me to test it for him. So I would like to state that it is all Marui's fault that Ms. Latnem couldn't die from a fatal stomach disease."

"Are you saying that Marui-kun might die from a fatal disease?" questioned Yagyuu.

But nobody heard him.

"Aw, that sucks!" wailed Niou. "Now Ms. Latnem can't die!"

Jackal acted more mature, however. "Anyways, Yanagi, do you still have other beverages that your friend...Inui, whatever his name is, makes? I'm sure we can give it another go."

Yanagi sighed again. "I'll try."

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip_

"Here is the answer sheet," said Ms. Latnem. She passed Marui a piece of paper.

* * *

If you've chosen:

The correct answer is a), each answer worth 1 point. If you've chosen c) however, each question is worth 0.5 points.

If you've chosen d), then each response is worth 0 points. You suck.

EXTRA: If you chose d) for questions 3&2, THEN you may acquire 2 extra points for the 2 questions.

BONUS: If you chose a), b), or c), then you absolutely pass this test, since you get 5 more points. But if you've chosen d)...moo-ha-ha-ha-ha! You only get 1 point. But there will be evil consequences.

If you have gotten: 1-2/10(the most points possible), then you fail. Go die.

If you've gotten 3-4/10, then you still fail. Go die.

If you've gotten 4-5/10, then you STILL fail. Go die.

If you've gotten 6-10/10, then, Hm...I guess you've passed. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't go die.

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip_

"Yay!" cheered Marui. "I got 6/10! I passed! No jail time for me!"

Ms. Latnem smirked. "Not so fast. Did you choose d) for the last question?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Then you automatically fail."

Marui gaped at her in disbelief. "I passed the other questions!"

"Too bad."

"What?" shouted Marui. "This is so unfair! Go die."

"Go to jail." The security guards unlocked the jail door and threw him inside.

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip_

"Where is Marui?" asked Jackal. "Unless..."

Ms. Latnem evil laughed. "You are right. He has failed his test, so he is now in jail. That's what cheaters deserve." She ticked something off on her clipboard. "Just a reminder, we shall be leaving for the field trip on Saturday morning, 10am. I expect you all to be there."

"Just a question..." started Yagyuu. "Who is next on the checklist?"

Ms. Latnem glanced at him. "I was getting to that," she declared. "'Apparently, it's Yanagi Renji. Since I believe you all are not responsible enough, so during the field trip I will be watching you all. You have until Tuesday to cure him. If not, consequences will be paid. Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

As she left, she slipped on a orange peel and fell on her face. Same routine.

Niou whistled idly as he tucked a mysterious object in his pocket. "I didn't do anything," he declared. "Ms. Latnem is just stupid enough to actually fall."

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip_

Kirihara beamed. "At least I've gotten a buddy now!"

Marui rolled his eyes and turned away. "Seriously. Not. Funny."

* * *

**A/N: Hello everybody! Thanks for reviewing. We love reviews.**

**This chapter is sort of random and a little bit short. The next few chapters will come out really slowly, since I currently don't really know how to write the camp thing, but I'll figure it out eventually. Let's just hope soon. **

**We also understand that when 'time skip' shows it may not actually be a time skip, so instead I will say that 'time skip' is equal to 'space or time or place skip', do you guys prefer the time skip or a line? Tell us in your review (see you should review :D)**

**Just a little note, we have written another story, and it's called 'Shakespeare's Romance'. It's crack, but with some romance in it, feel free to check it out! **

**Also, this chapter might not be very good. Blame this stupid Chinese show that I just took a peek at on the TV. All the non-Chinese people were killing the Chinese people like knocking down dominos. Then this random dude started crying over the body of his child, random eh? (Ahaha I'm so canadian XD)**

**Ugh~~~**

**By Noël and Chantal**


	11. Interlude: Seriously?

Disclaimer: We do not own Prince of Tennis.

* * *

"We are almost arriving," said Ms. Latnem. She glared at the bus driver. "We are, aren't we?"

The bus driver swallowed and locked his eyes on the road once more. "Um, we're not _quite_ there yet, Miss."

Ms. Latnem flicked her hair. "Such bad quality! Just to get to Matsushima! I am never acquire this bus service ever again!"

The bus driver looked desperate. "There is only 20 minutes left, Miss. Please be patient. I'm trying to do my best, but the traffic is a little slow. After all, Matsushima is a great touristic place."

Ms. Latnem huffed. "Whatever."

"We're going to Matsushima?" asked Kirihara. "That's a awesome field trip!" He was about to jump up, but Sanada pulled him down.

"Keep your straight face on," Sanada reminded him. "We are not trying to act like we actually like this field trip or her. Amen."

Marui rolled his eyes. "I don't care. Why are you so obsessed with Jesus and God now? You've changed a lot just from that week away from tennis."

_Flashback_

Sanada was on his knees, his hands clasped together, in front of Ms. Latnem. "Please, please let me back in the tennis club!" he begged, not noticing the 'what the fuck?' glances the people were shooting him.

Shishido had said, that if you wanted someone to be moved, you must throw away your dignity, say goodbye to embarrassment and trust your life in god. Amen.

And maybe Ms. Latnem just agreed because she wanted another person to torture. But we'll keep that thought at the back of our heads and keep on reading.

_End Flashback_

Niou shushed them. "Quiet. I'm trying to think."

Marui, who happened to be sitting beside him, got his curiosity invoked. "What are you thinking about?"

"You see, if Yanagi's gonna get tortured like you, then Ms. Latnem will obviously burn his data books, right?"

"I guess so..."

Niou smirked. "Then I can maybe snatch a couple and have some fun with them. That's why I'm thinking so hard."

"What do you mean by 'have some fun with them'?" demanded Kirihara who just happened to believe that he must know everything.

Niou's smirk grew wider. "You'll see. Puri."

"We have arrived!" announced Ms. Latnem. Everybody grumbled and stepped off the bus. Yanagi looked a little pale, probably from overhearing Niou's predictions.

Ms. Latnem turned to look at them. "Now," she drawled, "we will wait for the VIP taxi I have requested."

In a few minutes, the VIP taxi pulled up in front of them. It seated 5.

"There's not enough seats," Jackal pointed out.

"So?" asked Ms. Latnem. "There are 3 seats for you. That's enough."

"Can you do math?" questioned Yanagi. "There are 7 regulars!" But he immediately shut up. The glint in Ms. Latnem's eyes was murderous.

"So?" answered Ms. Latnem. "Deal with it." She opened the car door and stepped in. "Are you all idiots just going to stand there and do nothing? Get in, for Pete's sake!"

The regulars mumbled and got in.

"How are we going to fit the 8 of us in 3 seats?" demanded Jackal.

Yanagi pondered the thought. "What about 5 of us sit in the seats, then 3 of us sit in the trunk?"

Everybody looked at each other. Then in perfect unison, they cried, "Not it!"

"Tie!" stated Marui. "Let's try that again. 1...2...3..."

"NOT IT!"

"Why are we shouting not it?" asked Yanagi. "It should be specifically, 'not me'."

"1...2...3..."

"NOT ME!"

"Just get in!" screamed Ms. Latnem.

"Fine," sighed Yagyuu, "I'll sit in the trunk." He opened the trunk door and gracefully stepped in. Everybody placed their hand on their heart and waved their handkerchiefs sadly while wiping away tears.

"I'll go too!" sobbed Jackal.

"Me too!" agreed Marui.

"I'll also sit in the trunk," stated Kirihara. "What a sacrifice!"

A grin erupted on Yagyuu's face while he pulled his leg out of the trunk. "Okay then. As the gentleman, I will personally allow you guys to take this dutiful job of sitting in the trunk. I'll always remember you guys, Jackal, Marui and Kirihara-kun! Good luck!" Skipping towards the group, Yagyuu smiled. What a great day.

_Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip Time skip _

"I...can't...take...it!" moaned Kirihara. His face was green.

Yagyuu turned around and smiled. Even though the five of them were quite squished, but it was still very comfortable, especially with the cool breeze blowing in their faces. "It's not my fault, Kirihara-kun. You personally volunteered. But it's okay. We'll always have enough money for a few coffins and the work of gravediggers."

Marui breathed in deeply, trying to hold back the muck in his stomach from blasting out. "Could you please close the window? The wind is making me...sick."

Niou frowned. "But it's very humid in here, and if we close the window, it'll be very hot!"

"Then let's have a vote," suggested Sanada. "Who votes to close the window?"

Jackal, Marui and Kirihara raised up their hands.

"Then who votes to keep the window open?"

Yagyuu, Yanagi, Niou and himself raised up their hands.

Sanada beamed. "Majority wins. The window stays open. Amen." The 4 of them cheered, while the other 3 unfortunate souls felt a urge to punch someone's face.

"Keep the noise down!" commanded Ms. Latnem. "And yes, Driver. Stop here."

The regulars happily stepped down from the taxi. Standing in front of them was a wicked-looking house, made out of grey stone. The untrimmed edges stood up irregularly, casting shadows on the overgrown lawn. The wind blew through the rickety old porch, and the old wind chime tinkled.

"We're going to be staying here?" asked Kirihara in a small whisper.

"Of course NO!" shouted Ms. Latnem. "We are staying HERE."

She pointed to a towering mansion, made of out pure white wood that was so white it looked blinding and neon. The hedges were nicely trimmed, the lawn nicely mowed. There were a few rocking cheers on the clean porch. Flowers bloomed everywhere. A small paved passageway led to the outstanding door. The gates opened.

"We shall be living here," commanded Ms. Latnem. She proudly walked past the gates.

"My god!" exclaimed Marui as they entered through the welcoming door. "This is like heaven itself!"

The whole group was led in the manor.

"Ooh!" cried Kirihara. "Just look at the beautiful statue!" He pointed to a antique sculpture of a angel, carved out of white marble.

"Mrs. Lorimar carved it," said Ms. Latnem. "She is also the gardener, cook, and maid. She lives across the street."

"In that wicked house?" demanded Niou. "I can't see why anyone would live there."

"Whatever," shrugged Ms. Latnem.

"Wow!" exclaimed Kirihara. "This field trip may actually be fun!"

Ms. Latnem flicked her hair and smirked. "We'll see about that."

* * *

**A/N: I really don't have much to say for this author's note. But thanks to everybody who reviewed! Also a special thanks to the people who went to our profile.**

**I am also SO sorry is I made fun of the christian religion. To tell the truth, I personally believe that there _is _actually a supernatural force. So I sincerely apologize.**

**Our new story, Shakespeare's Romance, will be updated soon. We really hope that people will review, or at least just read it.**

**Thanks! **


	12. The Start of The Camp

_Dear Diary,_

Hello again, this is Yanagi Renji. I haven't wrote in you for 3 days! Please don't be mad at me. I was just very busy.

All of my teammates are very upset with their lunch. After analysing it, I have figured out that the lunches contain 60% of saturated fat and trans fat. Oh no! They will have to endure many long practices to put off the weight they have gained.

I really miss our school. Oh Diary, you are the only one that will understand how I feel! The other people don't understand... By the way, I was about to separate pure helium from water! Sadly, I guess that it wouldn't exactly turn out well since I have hidden the equipment in the gym equipment box with the hula-hoops. I suppose the girls are supposed to have a contest soon.

I have also missed out on my other projects. For examples, I was planning to put a drop of water in the vial of eraser shavings that I have gathered throughout 5 months and see if fungus grows. Unfortunately, that will have to wait due to this camp.

Diary, oh how I love you so much! You are like my best friend who can't talk, breath, eat, drink, reproduce, and go to the bathroom! You are wonderful!

Oh dear. The teammates are coming. Luckily, I have wrapped blue wrapping paper over your cover so they won't see the 3 Disney princesses sitting around gorgeously and will think I'm holding a spare notebook! Aren't I brilliant?

Bye bye now, my friends are calling me to go eat lunch. I will try to write in you tomorrow!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO,

Yanagi Renji

P.S. uh oh! This is the end of the page! The next page will begin my data section! I must get a new notebook!

DATA SECTION ABOUT PERSONALITIES

Seigaku:

Ryoma Echizen-personality: terrible, horrible, no-good.

-is snobby and always acts as if opponent owes him 1000000000000000000 yen

-thinks he's so awesome and can absolutely beat Yukimura even without using his random 'shine-like-the-sun-and-hit-supersonic-shots-with-unatural-speed-and-accuracy' technique

-thinks he's the best(okay, maybe he is)

There was not very much to do at the camp. Unlike the perfect, heavenly examples of other camps, nothing was really fun. No picnics, no camping, no trips...oh dear, they never even left the house!

Ms. Latnem left constantly, though, to mysterious trips that seemed to last several hours (all thanks to the mysterious personality of women). She always came back with a huge mound of shopping bags, and would finally remove from the bottom of a particularly crumbled bag that looked like it got run over by a truck, a paper carton that contained their 'meal of the day'. It usually consisted of something revolving around corn, rice, corned beef and goo.

"Blah!" said Marui. "We've been having corned beef rice goo for lunch every day since we arrived here! I swear, if I ever see another piece of corned beef, I'll jump out this window right now!"

Niou rolled his eyes. "It's Monday tomorrow, and we'll be having upside down pickled corn beef meat loaf n' candy corn. Besides, it's only been 2 days, and you're already off your rocker."

Meanwhile, Sanada was using a more imaginative approach. "God bless this corned beef, please give us your blessing so that it will turn into spaghetti tomorrow! Amen."

Jackal sighed. "God would never listen to such a depressed, ruined, wreck of a hobo like you! I mean, at least have some fashion like _moi_!" He tried to flick his hair, but instead flicked his head. "By the way, I also have such a wondrous sense of humour!" Jackal immediately struck an 'oh-I-own-so-much-so-bow-down-before-the-awesome-Jackal' pose.

"At least grow some hair before you want to be self-absorbed!" complained Yanagi.

"Why aren't you frustrated?" asked Kirihara. "Just to tell you, Ms. Latnem is gonna work on you next."

"I know that. I am just trying to calm my personal anger and disbelief and sorrow by acting all calm and stuff. It helps, except I sort of feel like I want to puke," said Yanagi a matter-of-factly.

That was when Mrs. Lorimar danced in. "Hello, children! Do you want to escape?"

The announcement was so sudden and so terribly timed that everybody started choking on the goo and began to hack their lungs out.

"My dear!" Mrs. Lorimar said, feigning surprise. "I thought that action was very well-timed and should be awarded a first class honour with distinction!"

"That's in piano," Yanagi pointed out.

"I play piano," Mrs. Lorimar pointed out.

"Then we've got an disagreement."

Mrs. Lorimar ignored him and turned to the rest of the regulars. "Do you want to escape? Well, I can inform you that there is an emergency escape ladder just out of the north window."

"Actually," remarked Yanagi, "it's outside the east window."

"Then we've got an disagreement."

The two began dragging regulars towards their suggested positions.

"Hey!" cried Kirihara. "Don't split us up!" He clutched at his hair protectively.

"Then we've got an disagreement," chorused Yanagi and Mrs. L.

"Stop copying me!" they chorused once more.

"Seriously stop it!" they said in sync.

"I'm not copying you!"

"Yes you are!"

"Break it up," said Yagyuu, "break it up. Then, to make it fair for both of you, we will get out the north-east window! I totally deserve a applause!"

"There's nothing here but a dumb pole," Marui answered. "Ew, please don't tell me it's corn goo today!" He took his plate to the window (doesn't matter which one) and emptied the contents.

"Stop littering!" screamed Kirihara. "You're polluting the environment, you know!"

Niou smirked. "But I've got to say you have quite a good aim. Your garbage has just ended up in Ms. Latnem's hair. You deserve a high-five." They high-fived.

"_He _deserves a high-five and I don't deserve some applause? That's not fair," replied Yagyuu crossly. "You guys all suck."

"Let's just end this convo-" started Sanada.

"Stop saying 'convo'!" yelled Kirihara. "I'm going to sock the next person who says 'convo'!"

"That's pathetic," said Yanagi, "and childish and immature. It's just a word, after all. Why waste time?"

"Time, is but an obstacle," sighed Sanada.

Niou clapped. "Have you finally mastered the god's art? Of not worrying about anything?"

"Worry, is not but an sin, as it should be. Life, is like an apple. After you've took a bite out of it, the wound turns brown. But if you take another bite, the insides are still pearl white..."

"But still, we shouldn't waste time."

"Time, why worry? There is plenty of time!" cooed Sanada. He paused. "But time is money, so wasting time is wasting money, which means we shouldn't waste time!" He raised his hand dramatically as if reaching for the heavens. "God, save my inner conflict!"

This time, Ms. Latnem came in. Holding her random Michael Jackson hat to cover her face, she started humming in an very unattractive manner the theme song of 'The Pink Panther', as if trying to feign a dramatic entrance. She withdrew her hands from her pockets, mimicking guns.

She then flipped her hat off to reveal her face with a loud 'whoosh'. Ms. Latnem looked around the room. Crickets chirped outside.

"CHILDREN!" she called out in her booming voice. "I'M BACK!" Apparently she believed that the regulars were supposed to fall on their knees crying 'Mommy!' or something.

Crickets chirped again.

Ms. Latnem, carefully sneaking out her checklist, wrote something down along the lines of 'I welcomed them so generously, yet the crickets chirp so loudly yet they give no reaction! This calls for immediate action! Hey, that rhymes!'. Yes, something witless like that.

Ms. Latnem then left, calling back as if in a great rush, though she moving in slow-motion.

"I'm actually leaving this time!" she called. "Going in 10 seconds! 10..." No one even gave her a look. "9..."

No reactions. "8..." The regulars began playing a mindless game called 'Mothia'.

"7..." Yagyuu, as the 'Mothia(evil killer dude)', killed Kirihara.

"6..." The 'Angel', Yanagi, saved himself.

"5..." Sanada, as the narrator, made up a seriously stupid story of Kirihara's death, involving ice cream and several Mercedes Benz.

"4...3...2..." Still no reaction. The regulars were so endorsed in their game.

"1.9..." Yagyuu decided to kill Marui, and, once again, Yanagi saved himself.

1.8...1.7...1.6...1.5..." Sanada, AGAIN, made up yet another stupid story except including this time pumpernickel bread and bagels.

Ms. Latnem sighed. "I give up. I'm leaving."

"Have a nice trip!" called the regulars sarcastically. The watched the door close, and sighed in relief.

Ms. Latnem opened it again. "I can hear you," she said crossly, advancing down the stairs with her head turned towards them. The door slammed shut.

But the silence was broken by a series of screams and thumps, obviously suggesting the fall of one's rump against the floor.

"Okay," said Kirihara innocently, "I _did not_ push her."

"I know," replied Marui. "She fell herself." He gave a glance at Niou, and then added anxiously, "right?"

Niou shrugged. "Whatever you say."

**A/N: Hello, we haven't updated in a very long time. We hereby give you sincere apologies. The fact is, we were just very busy.**

**Have you ever heard of the game 'Mothia'? Me and my friends love playing it, though it's quite random and can be very boring if you have a unimaginative narrator.**


	13. Yanagi Renji part 1

**Disclaimer: Hi. We don't own PoT. **

* * *

"I don't understand what religion means," said Kirihara a matter-of-factly. "Yet I don't _really _believe in god. Sure, there was some supernatural force that made the Big Hand or whatever—"

"Big Bang," Yanagi corrected.

"Fine, _Big Bang_. But this religion is really random and very abrupt," concluded the certain junior.

"Anyone can pursue religion," said Sanada. "Yes, people believe that the Large Explosion-"

"Big Bang," Yanagi corrected.

"Yes, Big Bang...but I personally think that religion is nothing to be made fun of but to be taken seriously. It's not a joke. Just by saying that you're insulting a lot of people."

Kirihara backed up. "I'm sorry, please don't kill me."

"However," said Sanada, "But as a compromise, I shall keep the religion more personal than before."

"Ladies and gentlemen-" started Yagyuu. "I—"

"No ladies here," corrected Yanagi.

"Yanagi is correcting people more than usual," whispered so and so to another somebody.

"No duh, he's extremely frustrated. I saw him up at midnight yesterday hiding his data books in the cupboard or someplace."

"It was in the oven," chimed in Kirihara to Niou and Marui. "I personally saw him. Personally, I also believe it would be, personally, stupid to hide something in a cupboard."

"Personally," mimicked Niou, "I also believe that you may now shut up."

Kirihara muttered something mildly impolite and disturbing- we'll leave that out for now.

Anyways, Ms. Latnem happened to walk down the stairs yawning and complaining(she was always complaining about something) about the pillows or toothbrushes—well something unimportant like that.

"Yanagi," she said in a strict tone. "Give me your data books."

Yanagi paled from head to toe. "I-I don't have them with me," he lied, eyes darting all over the kitchen. "If you want them, you can go to S-Seigaku since my friend has them."

Ms. Latnem grumbled something about the stupidity of certain ones these days and went to the refrigerator. Unlike most people, she believed that ice cream, since it contains calcium and if orange-flavoured, vitamin C, was a very good way to begin someone's day, perhaps brightening it up considerably.

Now, we will take a look at Yanagi's sleepless night:

Yanagi got up at midnight, snuck downstairs with his books and chucked them in the cupboard.

After getting back in bed, he got up again. Thinking the books were not safe, he returned and hid them in the oven.

Believing that his precious books would be burned to ashes by some uncaring coach or someone (specifically Niou, who is actually seriously bored out of his mind) looking for a prank, like setting a house on fire or something, he decided to hide them in the refrigerator. Similar to what normal people (okay, not really) would do.

When finished with the task, he got into his bed, and started dreaming of a world where everyone was happy. Where there were random data books containing important data floating around, singing out certain things like people's birthdays and what type of toothpaste they use...

...

It is very unfortunate if you were hit on the head by an icy avalanche of rock-hard books in the early morning. On the way to getting your favourite dessert.

You should all know what happened after this (this deserves a moment of silence, followed by the singing of the national anthem).

Ms. Latnem was, regrettably, buried under a mass pile of green books.

"Wow! This is awesome!" exclaimed Niou. He then took to stuffing as many books as he could into his pockets.

"Give it back!" cried Yanagi, almost in tears. "Hey! Give that one back! They're _mine_!"

Ms. Latnem unburied herself and stood up. "NOW I DETEST YOU!" she screamed. "THESE BOOKS DESERVE TO BE BURNED! I am going to burn them right now!"

But then she seemed to have another thought. "Never mind. You children can burn them for me, since I have better things to busy myself with."

* * *

"Fire!" cheered Kirihara. "I never knew you could make a fire in the house with data books! The only bad thing is that there's a annoying beepy sound!"

Crickets chirped.

"Hey! Why is the random thingy beeping and screaming?" asked Jackal.

"It's because we're setting up a fire inside a house," answered Yanagi, blinking back sad tears that threatened to escape his eyes. "The fire alarms are bound to be beeping."

Sanada coughed. "I'm not sure this is such a great idea. Starting a fire in a house is quite dangerous."

Niou shrugged and winked. "It's O.K. I've got it under control," he replied happily while chucking books into the crackling fire. "It's a brilliant idea. I've never tried getting a fire on a wooden floor."

"What did you just say?" demanded Marui, blowing a bubble.

Niou rolled his eyes. "I've never tried setting a fire on a wooden floor, of course."

"Doesn't wood catch fire easily?"

"Good job, _Sherlock_."

"You know," started Yagyuu, "I don't think starting a fire on a wooden floor is such a wise idea."

Silence. Silence. Silence.

Kirihara shrugged. "Then let's go. Nothing bad will happen, I guess. Now who wants to play hide-and-seek?"

So the people got up and left the house, completely ignoring many important rules of 'fire safety'.

By sundown, the firemen had arrived to clean up the wreckage.

Alas, the field trip ended due to 'unexpected problems'.

(Just a reminder, but they never got to play hide-and-seek, since it didn't seem like a well-suited game for teenagers. So, they decided to play 'the GROWN-UP hide-and-seek)

* * *

**A/N: Hi. We didn't update in a LONG time since, well, we were really busy with stuff. Anyways, we hope you like this chapter, even though the ending is a tad too abrupt, and reviews are nice. ****Okay, really nice. Thanks!**

**Sorry If we didn't respond to your review, we will try our best to answer all of them this time! Thank you!**

**By the way, when I think of bigbang, I think of the korean band bigbang, not the tv show. G-Dragon forever! 3**

**One last thing, I apologize for all of the previous grammar errors, please bear with them, I will try to edit more in the future!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: These characters are not ours. We do not own Prince of Tennis.**

**A/N: I just want to apologize for not updating during such a long time, from now on, the updates _should_ be more frequent. Enjoy!**

* * *

For the Rikkai regulars, life had just made a turn for the worse. Tennis wasn't fun anymore, practice wasn't fulfilling anymore and school was downright unbearable. This was especially true for one Yanagi Renji, who felt as if his life was completely miserable. Without his data books, he couldn't play tennis well, without them, he couldn't take notes in class nor do his homework and he couldn't discuss data with his friends (Inui).

Unlike the other regulars, Yanagi Renji was smart and manipulative. He decided that he will get his notebooks back. He will fight back and force Miss Latnem away. Yanagi Renji will win the battle.

Plan A: Turn the ashes of the fire into notebooks again? (Chemical formula needed)

Plan B: Rewrite everything from memory? (No, he wasn't a genius. Marui was.)

Plan C: Start a rebellion with signs and boards and all sorts of messages and so on…

Plan D: Murder Ms. Latnem in her sleep using many options and ways

Plan E: Oopa, there is no plan E

But, of course, it's pretty much impossible to remake notebooks out of ash-but that would be an interesting idea.

Even though he was really smart, okay, maybe really, really, really smart, but he still didn't have a miraculous memory like some random superhero in 'The Return of The Nerds-2' or a real genius like Marui.

Killing someone and bear all the criminal accusations? No thank you.

That left "starting a rebellion with signs and boards and all sorts of messages and so on…."

Wasting no time, Yanagi jumped and ran to the club house.

* * *

"Guys! I've gotten an interesting idea!" he shouted as he stormed in.

Everyone stared at him with blank eyes.

"Shut up," said Niou. "We're having our 5 minutes of depression right now."

"Yeah!" Kirihara agreed. "Go away."

Everyone turned to look at him.

"You know, Kirihara," commented Marui. "If you're trying to act cool like us, it's not working."

Kirihara looked like he was force fed a bucket of flies. No, _mouldy _flies. "Okay," he muttered. "I'll just shut up CAUSE NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT ME." (Notice emphasis)

"Like, totally," answered Jackal.

Yagyuu tapped him on the shoulder. "You know, Jackal-kun, if you're trying to gain a personality, I don't think it's working too well."

After saying that, the regulars (excluding Kirihara and Jackal and Yanagi) turned around and pretended that Jackal was just a wall (after all, he _is _the iron wall of defence, right?).

Alas, Jackal joined Kirihara, sulking, in his (now their) emo corner where they thought about thoughts that revolved around exclusion, bullying and how that's not allowed at school (mommy said so).

"Anyways," announced Yanagi. "I've come up with a brilliant plan. We're going to start a…drum roll please …rebellion! WOO-HOO! Cheers!"

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"Are you still having your 5 minutes of depression?" sighed Yanagi, exhausted from all the extravaganza and emotion that he had just showed.

"No," answered Niou again. "Now we're having 10 seconds of stare-at-Yanagi-blankly time."

After 10 seconds passed, Yanagi brought up the subject again.

"You know, we could make a bunch of posters and signs and go parading down the school yard, waving them in the air and chanting about how we HATE Ms. Latnem!" suggested Yanagi. He was really excited. This was probably the most exciting moment in his life.

"We'll look like fools," snorted Marui. "If you want me to go marching around with badly-made signs, then count me out of this."

"I agree," said Yagyuu. "Maybe a rebellion, or an attempted one, might not be the right thing now. We should worry more about how we're going to survive this week without getting expelled or suspended, Yanagi-kun."

"Dumbest suggestion ever," Niou stated, rolling his eyes.

Since Kirihara and Jackal were still sulking in their emo corner, so we'll leave them out for now.

Everyone turned to look at Sanada because he was the boss right now.

Sanada cleared his throat (yes, he was listening all along) and spoke. "Yanagi, you are not to organise this rebellion." (Yanagi sulked a little, since his life was now as boring as before and Marui and Niou smiled)

Sanada paused for dramatic effect. "As I said, Yanagi, you are not to organise this rebellion.

("No duh" one of the regulars remarked.)

_**I **_will."

Of course. It was an epic and legendary moment that would be written down in history as a significant turn in Yanagi's dull life.

Kirihara raised up his hand. "Can we join in the discussion now?" he pleaded.

Sanada sighed and agreed. "Yes, you may. But Jackal, you'll continue to stay there because we hate people with no personality more that people who are annoying."

Kirihara smiled. Jackal sulked. The rest of the regulars stared at him with a sympathetic expression.

_**Life**_ _**sucks.**_

* * *

"You know," remarked Marui, "I don't think hand-made signs really work."

"Who cares," replied Niou. "We'll just draw some pictures of the Boston Tea party and get this over with."

"But we're not fighting to throw tea overboard or to diminish taxes," said Kirihara, slightly depressed. "We're fighting for… wait, what _are_ we fighting for?"

Yanagi coughed. "We're fighting for social justice and the peace of our tennis club!" he announced in an authorizing voice, acting as if their rebellion was actually meaningful.

"I'm the one who's directing this!" declared Sanada. "Stop trying to use my authority, Yanagi. Now go draw a picture on the sign or something. Just get out of my face."

Yanagi sulked a little more. Then he went and drew a picture of the Boston Tea party.

Jackal raised up his hand. "Can I join in?" he asked hopefully. "I've been sitting here for almost an hour."

"It's alright." replied Kirihara cheerfully. "You can sit there until the end of time and we **still** won't care."

"Actually," said Yagyuu. "Maybe Jackal-kun _should_ participate, since after all, he _is _our 'iron wall of defense'."

"See?" asked Jackal, snapping his fingers. "**That's **justice."

"No one cares," answered Niou. "And for your information, we're all trying to draw a (fail) picture of the Boston Tea Party right now."

Indeed, Yanagi, Marui, Niou and Yagyuu _were_ trying hard to recreate a picture of the famous tea party where they discussed many important political points.

Kirihara tapped Sanada on the shoulder. "How are we going to go parading around the school with these signs?"

"You take a step, then another, continue this and don't forget to raise the signs and yell." replied Sanada, massaging his temples. "Now don't bother me. I'm trying to think of a good reason to kick Yanagi out of here right now."

The day dragged on.

* * *

"We're done!" announced Marui. "We've drawn exactly 102 signs. Enough, right?"

Sanada and Yanagi leafed through the pile, picking out the signs that looked as if they were truly, truly, drawn by a 4 year-old (which was basically 3 quarters of the heap).

"Okay," said Sanada. "We'll keep the pile in the club house for now. Tomorrow morning we'll come back and start the revolution."

The regulars stretched, then started to proceed out of the club room.

* * *

"What if we get expelled? Or suspended?"

No one answered.

* * *

**A/N: Please tell us what you think about this chapter. Leave a review :) Constructive criticism is welcome!**

**Oh and, we didn't try to diss the Boston Tea Party. Sorry if it seemed like we did.**

**Noël and Chantal.**


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